Calgary, AB Canada: Yahh-Hooo, It's The Calgary Stampede!

The Lucky Charm moseyed on over to the 104th Annual Calgary Stampede, billed as the "Greatest Outdoor Show on Earth."  This title had us curious about the Greatest INDOOR Show on Earth, but after investigating a series of brothels and poker lounges, we had to accept that the lowly West Edmonton Shopping Mall had already claimed this title.  But I digress.

The Stampede began in 1912 to celebrate Calgary's western heritage and pioneer spirit.  It also brings a whole-heap 'o' money to the town, so they do it every year.  Capitalism!  And who wouldn't get excited to attend a "ROMPING RANGELAND RUMPUS" ?

The 10 days of the Stampede kick off with a parade and it's a real doozy, second in the world only to the Rose Bowl Parade.  This year it had more than 700 horses, multiple marching bands, floats galore and much much more.  Entries came from as far away as Denmark.  It was an exciting place to be!

A particularly poignant parade entry was some of the people of Fort McMurray in Northern Alberta, thanking all of Canada for helping them when massive wildfires raged there last summer.  Over 80,000 were displaced and there was not a dry eye in the stands as they went past.

Most of the floats maintain the western theme, even this entry for  "Men In Kilts Window Washing," whose slogan is "No Peeking" and is apparently an actual company.  Capitalism, again!

Even the street cleaners get into the spirit.

Though the Alberta town of "Vulcan" can't be faulted for ignoring the Western theme.
Captain Kirk surely doesn't own any cowboy boots!

The Parade leads directly into the Stampede Grounds to open up the party.  Over a million people attend the Stampede and the official slogan should really be "Your State Fair on Steroids."  

Of course there's livestock ... lots and lots of livestock!
What a big, handsome stallion ... and the one on the left, too!

Besides midway rides and hawkers selling Sham-Wow cleaning cloths, there are also literally hundreds of other forms of entertainment.  Talent competitions. Hypnotists. High diving shows. Stunt motorcyclists. Canine trick stars (all rescues!).  Tractor pulls.  Sheep shearing and cattle penning competitions. Trick riding shows. Art auctions.  Live musical performances galore.  You can't possibly do it all, but we did enjoy the Snowmobile Daredevils and the Peking Acrobats.

One of our favorite events was the Cowboy Up competition, where riders had to coax their horses through a timed obstacle course.

This course also included the famed "Wait For Me Without Moving While I'm In the Outhouse" obstacle, which every woman who has ever attended a sporting event with her man knows all about.

But the "real deal" is a real rodeo, and since it has one of the world's richest purses (over $2 million!), it gets the best cowboys (and girls).  They compete in saddle bronc, bareback, bull riding, tie-down roping, steer wrestling and barrel racing.

The iconic event of the Stampede are the Chuckwagon Races, nicknamed "hell's half mile" and designed to imitate cowboys breaking camp really really quick, like maybe because a predator or angry ex-girlfriend is on their way.  

I will assume you have never been a competitor in this team sport and explain it in a general way.  

1.  Be in a wagon with 4 spazzed-out horses who have been bred only to run this race.  Have two of your friends ("outriders") on horses.  Wear matching outfits so nobody gets confused.  One friend holds the team of horses on a mark until an air horn goes off, when the other friend in the back throws an old-fashioned camp stove into the back of the wagon.  Then they both have to get back on their horses, lickedy-split.

2.  Drive your wagon in a figure-8 around the barrels with your outrider buddies in hot pursuit.  If they don't finish the race within 150 feet of you, you lose points.  Remember, each individual horse has to catch up with the team of 4 horses running together.  Not easy!

3.  Crushed barrel = bad.  Points docked.  

4.  Run around a huge track really, really fast, hoofs-a-blazin'.   It was waaaaay exciting to watch!  

5.  Finish before everyone else.  Duh!  Move on the the finals.  And, the purse for this event alone is $1,000,000+, so it's serious business.  

In one of the heats, the wagon actually dumped over (the driver jumped out in time) and the horses dragged it ON ITS SIDE for 3/4 of the way around the track before they could stop the team.

After the evening chuckwagon races, the stadium is quickly transformed for the "Grand Spectacular" Show.  The behemoth stage has been patiently waiting off on the side all day for its turn in the spotlight.  A tractor drags it out onto the chuckwagon track and within 20-25 minutes the whole thing is wired up and ready for the show!

What makes the show even more extraordinary is that the 120 performers known as the Young Canadians are all kids ages 11-18, who study dance, voice and performance year-round in preparation for the Stampede.   

The white figures at the top in the photo below are drummers suspended hundreds of feet above the ground ... whoa!  Shortly thereafter a huge grand piano and player also flew over the crowd. 

Also a part of the show are a laser light show, trick motorcyclists, flaming tightrope walkers, fireworks, and much more more. It is a dazzling spectacle, truly awe-inspiring, and since Philip has been working in Las Vegas for the past 4 years, we've seen every Cirque du Soleil and over-the-top stage show imaginable ... this was just as good, if not better!

The party-place of the Stampede is the huge, ever-popular bar tent called "Nashville North," and on weekends in particular there is a 4-hour wait to get in and it's standing room only.  It's similar to the Birds' Nest concert venue at the Scottsdale-based Phoenix Open, but more real cowboys and less Botox.  Many rising country stars have performed here over the years and it was a blast!

Back on the midway, mini-donuts are the traditional Stampede snack, with over 2,000,000 consumed here each year.  Also, one beer every 7 seconds.

But there are some other delicacies in hot pursuit of the title on this year's midway!  Behold ......

Nothing says"western heritage" like a bacon burger served on a glazed maple donut.

Poutine is a delicacy originating in Quebec and is basically the pinnacle of Canadian fast-food.

It is french fries, topped with cheese curds, and drenched in light-brown beef gravy.

If you can't decide between a burger and mac'n'cheese, why not both?

We know where your mind is going with this next one, and you should be ashamed.

Lastly, the Stampede hosted 3 big-name concerts (well, 2 big names + Jeff Dunham the Ventriloquist, who must have a very talented booking agent) in the Saddledome, where their hockey team plays.  Zac Brown Band from Georgia was phenomenal!  They played all their favorite country hits (and there are a lot of them!) but threw in some crazy-good renditions of hard-rock classics from Led Zeppelin, Queen, and Black Sabbath.  Unexpected and so much fun!

We had a great time at the Stampede, and now we're gonna stick around Calgary for another week and see what (non-cowboy) charms it offers up.  Yippee yahoo, pardners!

Banff, AB Canada: Reflecting and Reflections

Ahhh, Banff.  A beautiful resort town in the Canadian Rockies, when compared to where we've been lately, the "big city" is a little overwhelming!  It's trendy.  It's busy.  It's urban.  After having been in (relatively) quiet and desolate places like Jasper, we feel a little like the Unibomber, blinking and unbelieving as he leaves the quiet isolation of his bunker.  

And yet, we are still surrounded by towering mountains, dense forests, and nature galore!  We are reflecting on the first four weeks of this trip and how to incorporate the serenity of this beautiful place into our daily lives. (Hot yoga, journaling, moonlight > moonshine?)

Allow me to take you on a brief tour of Banff Township, free of charge and no ticket needed.  Here is the setting as seen from the chairlift atop Mount Norquay.  That's Banff down in the pocket.

Its architecture is "early Swiss Alps" with a touch of Urban Outfitters and a dash of Radio Shack.

At ONE END of downtown Banff Avenue are towering mountains.

At the OTHER END of Banff Avenue are Cascade Gardens, which house Parks Canada's offices.  Nice digs, though maybe they are entitled to a little luxury, since the town of Banff is completely 100% inside Banff National Park.

In the MIDDLE of Banff Avenue are a million trillion billion tourists.

Also in the middle is Canada's #1 ice cream shop, boasting clever cow-related names ("Cowconut Cream Pie," anyone?), plus the world's slowest scooping employees, and a 45-minute wait minimum to get to the front of the line.  But, ICE CREAM, so there we were along with everyone else.

Banff is host to a majestic and ridiculously pricey luxury hotel, the Fairmont Banff Springs.  It's easy to see why you'd want to stay there, but creak open your dusty wallet as the most basic room starts at $599/night in the summer season (up to $3,500/night for a suite).  But hey, you can take 25% off that in exchange rates, since the Canadian dollar is depressed at the moment, so why not!!! We're happy to stay with our $34 campground site, however.

We're hiking our brains out ... Philip has moved in two holes on his belt and the dogs have lost their inner-city, pampered-pet fat rolls.  Banff has some of the most extensive trails in Canada, right at your doorstep.  A few examples ...

BOW RIVER LOOP TRAIL from our campground all the way to downtown

LAKE MINNEWANKA where you can spot black bears on the edge of the lake and take a cruise

JOHNSTON CANYON where a series of cliff-hugging catwalks lead you to multiple sets of various falls

EMERALD LAKE in nearby Yoho National Park, where every angle of the loop around the lake provides amazing reflections

We got all excited when we learned that Banff has hoodos.  Refresher:  our first stop of this summer adventure was Bryce Canyon, Utah, where we saw hoodos like this:

We crowded in next to hundreds of other tourists at the Banff hoodoo viewpoint to witness their splendor.  And.... this.  Four little jagged rocks.  That's it!  Ohhhh Kayyyyyy.  Moving on. I guess we have become hoodoo-jaded.

The Parks Canada "Red Chairs" program places pairs of red adirondack chairs in "hidden" scenic locations for you to discover.  The program is so popular that it was celebrated (mocked?) with an entry in the recent Canada Day Parade.

The Banff Centre is a famous institution that encourages creativity and the arts with a variety of programs (for instance, the people that participate in TEDTalks were hanging out there this week, as if they need to get any more evolved than the rest of us average Joes).  

We attended a big band concert that featured seven musicians who were awarded the Order of Canada, the nation's second highest honor. 

The musicians were amazing, but even more amazing ... check out that backdrop ... it's not a painting, it's honest-to-goodness real trees!  Magical!

The Banff Centre also sponsors a film festival/competition that focuses on adventures, expeditions and general outdoorsy stuff that makes you feel really bad about yourself and your cubicle job.  The night we went, we saw different features about river runners in China, two guys who did a crazy five-day ascent across the Fitz Traverse in Patagonia, a photographer who spent years and years trying to get this ridiculously awesome basejumping photo, and a crew who went to capture an almost-impossible shot of skiers in front of a solar eclipse in Svalbard.  

But the MOST epic entry (to us) was a two minute "commercial" for nature, spoofing all the Rx drug commercials on TV.  You'll love it (promise) if you take two minutes to watch .... (my favorite parts:  "golf is not nature" and "for euphoria lasting more than four hours, check work email") .....

If this is not clickable for you or to see it bigger, click here instead

This guy in downtown Banff must have seen the commercial as he has the right idea:  Feeling down? .... climb a tree and jump off!

We had a "charming" little miracle when Philip prepared our traditional Sunday morning lattes (yes we have a latte maker in the RV, don't judge), looked down, and a Lucky Charm had magically appeared in the foam!  Whoa!!!  

As we head to the even bigger city of Calgary to take part in the Stampede festivities with a million of our closest friends, we are hoping this brings good luck and a lot of patience!